


Mad About The Boy

by musette22



Category: Actor RPF, Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dirty Talk, Eventual Smut, Face-Fucking, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Inspired by Love Actually, Light Dom/sub, Love Confessions, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 04:45:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19041385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musette22/pseuds/musette22
Summary: An audible intake of breath to his left draws Chris’s attention away from the captivating image on the screen, back to the present. Back to real-life Sebastian, who’s still sitting on the couch in his living room, suddenly looking very much like he’s about to say something. His lips are parted and his eyes narrowed in confusion, and -–There it is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flamingle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamingle/gifts).



> This is pretty literally based on a certain scene in the Richard Curtis movie Love Actually. I have no plagiarist intentions, just taking inspiration from this story line, which has always been my favourite from this particular film and means a lot to me personally. However, because this is fanfic and I can do what I want, this story will of course have a happy ending. It's what these boys deserve <3
> 
> I’m dedicating this fic to my amazing friend Flamingle, because in one of our conversations she said something that gave me the idea for it, and I blatantly stole some of her headcanons (and even some actual lines) for this fic. Thank you for letting me use them, honey, and thanks for being brilliant. ILU

Chris is stretched out on the couch, laptop resting on his legs, a half-finished bottle of Corona on the floor next to him. He absentmindedly plucks on the thinning fabric of his faded blue tee, carefully crossing his ankles so as not to jostle his laptop and wishing once again he was wearing his sweats instead of his jeans. He could go and change, of course, but he’s too lazy to actually get up and do it. Taking a swig of his beer, he runs a hand over his mouth to brush away the stray drops that inevitably end up in his beard. It's still a little fuller than usual because of the ongoing Defending Jacob shoot, but it’s kinda growing on him. Hah. It’s the one thing he can admit to being a little vain about, although he wouldn’t ever admit exactly how much he’s spent on grooming products this month alone. But hey, as vices go, he reckons this is a pretty harmless one.

Today’s the first real day off he’s had in a while and he’s determined to make the most of it. He had a lie in this morning, went for a hike with Dodger, and since then he’s just been enjoying having no plans for the rest of the day. The room is filled with the soft notes of an old Dinah Washington record that’s contentedly spinning on his record player, the slight crackle in the vinyl a soothing backdrop to his low-key afternoon.

The sound of the doorbell startles him enough to make him almost knock over his beer with the arm that’s lazily hanging off the side of the couch. He sits up slowly, careful not to drop or spill anything, and puts down his laptop on the coffee table.

He isn’t expecting anyone, so it’s probably just another door-to-door kind of thing. At least, he hopes so. Anything is better than those fucking reporters again. He really doesn’t want to get a gate installed, but if the press keeps disrespecting his privacy, he might just have to. Until recently, he’s been fortunate enough to keep his address pretty contained, meaning he doesn’t have fans showing up at his doorstep every other day, and by and large, the paps have stuck to their peculiar code of honor well enough. Lately though, no doubt due to the Endgame madness, they seem to have lost some of their ‘conscientiousness’.

He’s still mulling over that thought as he pulls open the front door, which means that he’s caught completely off guard when he finds Sebastian standing at the other side of it. He’s so surprised in fact, that it takes him a few seconds to get a grip on himself and control whatever the hell his face is doing. Quickly schooling his features into something appropriate to the situation, Chris puts on a smile and fervently hopes Seb didn't notice his slack-jawed expression.

“Seb, hey,” he manages, aiming for casual surprise rather than immobilizing shock. He’s not sure how well he’s succeeding. If the way his heart is suddenly beating double time in his chest is any indication; not particularly well. “Wow. What - what are you doing here?”

Sebastian flashes him a smile; that cheeky, boyish smile that never fails to make Chris’s heart skip a beat. At this rate, he’ll develop arrhythmia before the sun is down.

“Hey, Chris.” There’s a teasing lilt to Seb’s voice, and man, has he missed hearing it. “’S good to see you, too.”

Chris huffs a slightly awkward laugh and belatedly returns Sebastian’s smile. ”Shit, sorry, yeah. It is good to see you. I just – wasn’t expecting you.” And boy, if that isn’t the understatement of century.

God, Seb looks fantastic, though. He’s tanned, sporting that good ol' designer stubble that somehow brings out the sharpness of his jawline, the softness of his lips; his eyes bright and amused, crinkling happily in the corners. Chris manages to tear his eyes away from Seb’s face and quickly looks him over, head to toe and back again. He’s dressed in all black; skinny jeans paired with his trusty leather boots, and a simple black t-shirt, sunglasses hooked into the collar. He’s got his NASA cap on, too, the same one Chris has, and he’s carrying a six-pack of what appears to be bottled craft beer.

“Yeah, you know,” Sebastian shrugs easily. “Had some commitments in LA earlier today, found myself in the neighborhood, thought I’d drop by on a whim to see if you were in. And you are,” he finishes, beaming.

“I sure am,” Chris says, too brightly, and he could kick himself for the pathetic little wave he gives. _Really, Chris?_ _Wow._ “Did you, uh… D’you wanna come in?”

Sebastian huffs and rolls his eyes at him, but it's fond. “Nah, I just took a cab all the way to your place to drop off some beers for you to drink by yourself.” He holds up the six-pack. “Seriously though, I um. I was kinda hoping we could enjoy these together, catch up a little, maybe?”

Sebastian looks so hopeful, and Chris really, really wasn’t prepared for this. For a second, he contemplates telling Seb he’s going out, or he’s just too busy, anything to spare himself more suffering, but he discards the idea immediately. He could never turn Sebastian away like that, not after he made all this effort to see him and especially not after Seb turns his puppy dog eyes on him like he’s doing right now. Jesus Christ, that’s unfair.

Sighing internally, Chris takes a step to the side and gestures for Sebastian to come in, closing the door behind him.

“Took a cab all the way here, huh?” he asks. “I thought you said you were just in the neighborhood?”  

It’s a weak attempt at levity, but Seb still rewards him for his efforts with a chuckle, bless him.

“Yeah, well. Sometimes you gotta make a little effort to see your friends, you know?”

It’s not meant as a dig, Chris knows that Sebastian would never, but he feels the stab of guilt nonetheless. He has been avoiding Seb, cancelling on him more than once over the past few months, after they finished filming for Endgame. It’s not like they shot all that much together for this one, but there’d been enough days spent on set together between the fight scenes and the funeral scenes and the reshoots for them to have seen each other fairly regularly. But once Seb was officially done shooting – at least on any Marvel film Chris would ever be part of – Chris had consciously taken a step back from their friendship.

It hurt, of course it did, and it wasn’t that he wanted to. It was just that he needed to. Needed to give himself an honest chance to move on. After all, what good was it to keep pining after a friend who would be forever incapable of wanting him back? Most people didn’t have their Big Gay Awakening (or, bi awakening, really) quite as late in life as Chris had had his, and if Sebastian had been thus inclined, Chris is sure he would’ve known. They’d always been very open with each other about their lives, about their likes and dislikes.

That is, until Chris had first realized he had something to hide.

Chris’s lack of appropriate response is conveniently covered up by the sound of paws scrabbling on the hardwood floor of the living room, foreshadowing Dodgers enthusiastic appearance on the scene. His beloved rescue dog had been in the garden when the doorbell rang, so busy digging holes and chasing squirrels that he hadn’t even heard it ring. But the sound of an extra voice, and one he knows quite well at that, apparently pricked up his ears. Dodger barks once in greeting before he launches himself at Sebastian’s legs, happily leaping up at him.

“Bubba, no jumping,” Chris admonishes, trying to get the rhapsodic animal off Sebastian’s case by grabbing him by the collar and tugging gently.

“It’s fine,” Seb assures him, shooting Chris a quick smile. He sinks to his knees to pet Dodger properly, doing his best to dodge the sloppy licks the dog is trying to bestow on him “We’re just saying hello, aren’t we, boy?” He takes Dodger’s head between his hands and lightly shakes it, making a duckface at him. “Yeah, I missed you, too, buddy.”  

It warms his heart, seeing two of his favorite beings on earth loving on each other so eagerly. Not for the first time, Chris wishes he could adore Seb as openly as Dodger can. The irony is that he used to be just as generous with his affections towards everyone he liked, and that included Sebastian. But that was before he realized that this time, with this man, it was different. Very, very different.

When Dodger has finally calmed down a little and Seb is allowed to stand up again, the three of them make their way into the living room, where Dinah’s crooning provides the perfect accompaniment to the late afternoon sunlight bathing the room in a golden glow. Dodger disappears once more through the French doors leading to the garden, still open now that it’s getting warmer again.

“So,” Seb says, breaking the silence and setting down the beer on the table, his cap next to it. “You had a day off today, then? Finally?”

Chris nods. “Yeah. Got back from Boston yesterday. Taking a little break from filming, at least for the weekend.”

“Good, good,” Sebastian nods, sliding his hands into his pockets and lightly rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

Chris knows he has no one but himself to blame, but he still hates how uncertain Seb looks in that moment. Like he’s not sure what he can and can’t say. In the vain hope it might clear the air between them, Chris takes a deep breath and says, “Listen, I’m really sorry I cancelled on you a couple of times lately. I wish I didn’t have to, but you know how it is.” He makes a vague hand gesture and adds, “Work,” as if that somehow explains everything.

“Right,” Sebastian agrees easily. “Yeah, ‘course I do. It’s fine, Chris, I saw how it was at the premiere, everyone wanting a piece of you. You’re hot shit right now,” he grins. “As long as you’re sure you haven’t been avoiding me on purpose, for some reason.”

The last bit is said off-handedly, almost teasingly, but Chris knows Sebastian well enough to realize that underneath it lies a genuine concern. His stomach plummets. Of course Seb had noticed something was off. He far too perceptive for his own good, sometimes.

After a beat, Chris barks out a nervous laugh, slightly too shrill to sound genuine. “Avoiding you?” he says, pulling a face. “‘Course I’m not avoiding you. That’s – what? I would never – I mean, why, why would I do that?”

Oh god, please, for the love of Jesus, someone make him shut up. What a time for both his usual smooth demeanor and his acting skills to be abandoning him.

Seb tilts his head to the side a fraction, his blue-grey eyes sharp and far, far to discerning for Chris’s liking. “I don’t know, Chris. You tell me. I just know that we used to hang out all the time and then suddenly we didn’t. And it wasn’t for lack of trying on my part.” He doesn’t sound accusing, just genuinely curious and perhaps a tiny bit hurt.

Chris suppresses the overwhelming impulse to hide his face in his hands and possibly scream a little, instead settling for waving away Sebastian’s worries. “Nahh,” he says, shaking his head. “I mean, yeah, I’ll admit I’ve been a bit flaky lately, but I’ve just been busy, is all.” He holds up three fingers of his right hand. “Scout’s honor.” 

It may be a lie, but at least it’s a white one. 

Chris breathes a silent sigh of relief when, after a moment of silence, Sebastian seems to accept his explanation. “Alright,” he smiles, generous as ever. “I get it, I do. I’ve just missed you, pal. Let’s make an effort to hang out again more often, yeah?”

 _I can’t, I’m sorry_ , Chris thinks, but says, “Yeah, yes, absolutely. One hundred percent. Let’s – let’s do that.”

It must sound as unconvincing out loud as it does in his head, because Sebastian’s smile falters, though he tries to cover up it up by clearing his throat.

“Okay, then,” he says, leaning on the back of the couch and looking down at his feet. For a moment, he seems to cast around for a neutral topic, and the fact that he needs to makes Chris terribly sad. He hates that’s it’s come to this. 

Apropos of nothing, Seb says, “So, I decided to get a Twitter the other day.”

Chris blinks in surprise. “You did? I thought you said you didn’t care for it. Too shouty, or what was it you said?” 

Sebastian huffs a laugh. “Yeah, true. I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. It’s under an alias, though. I’m not sure I’m thick-skinned enough to do the blue tick and everything.”

Chris smiles at him, the first genuine smile he’s managed since Seb showed up on his doorstep unexpectedly. “Well, alias or not, you’ll have to give me your handle so I can find you. Or you can follow me and I’ll follow you back.” It’s probably not the best idea, but Chris is only human and Twitter is his weakness (and so is Sebastian).

“I already am,” Seb admits. “You were the first person I followed.”

Oh, come on. He just can’t catch a break, can he? Valiantly resisting the urge to squee into his fist, Chris turns a smirk on Sebastian instead. “Aw, Seb, I’m honored. Missing my witty commentary and intelligent discourse, were we?”

“Sort of, yeah,” Sebastian shrugs, biting his lip and smiling bashfully, and okay – there is absolutely no need for Chris’s heart to do backflips all of a sudden. So melodramatic, honestly.

“Saw your tweet at the Russos the other day,” Seb goes on. “About posting set videos when the spoiler ban lifts?”

In the back of Chris’s head, a faint alarm bell starts to ring. “Ah, yeah,” he grins, a bit sheepishly. “Yeah, I was just messing around. I haven’t actually got anything interesting enough to post, I was just tryin' to be funny.”

Sebastian scoffs. “Okay, sure Chris. C’mon, you were always filming everything, I wanna bet that you have some seriously good stuff stashed away on that iPhone of yours.”

“I really don’t, Seb," Chris says apologetically. "I’m not kidding, I didn’t film that much.”

Sebastian gives him an incredulous look. “Yeah, you did. You always had your phone out, you didn’t give a shit about the phone ban.” He grins. “I mean, what were they going to do, right? Fire Captain America?”

Chris chuckles again, a nervous edge starting to creep in. Damn it. He should’ve known that would come back to bite him in the ass, though he hadn’t anticipated it coming from this particular corner.

“I mean, yeah, I took a couple of videos maybe, but it's all just dumb backstage stuff. Nothing worth sharing, really.”

“Chris, buddy,” Seb deadpans. “You know that’s exactly the kind of content fans want to see, right? Just some bits and pieces of all of us having fun behind the scenes.” He pushes off from the couch, taking a step towards Chris with his right hand held out. “Here, give me your phone. I’m sure I’ll find tons of great stuff that you just think isn’t good enough.”

Involuntarily, Chris takes a step back, hand going to his back pocket where his phone sits. “Nah," he hedges. "I swear, I don’t have much and it’s all bad quality anyway.” He knows he’s starting to sound a little desperate, but there isn’t much he can do about that right now. “It’s all like, out of focus and shaky, you know?”

Sebastian stops and looks at him curiously. “I can't figure out if you're pulling my leg or if you're just being weirdly modest right now” he muses. “‘Cause I’ve seen some of your Dodger compilations and they’re great _,_ man. Not to mention the actual fucking feature film you made. You’re a director, Chris, you know how to get a good shot. Don’t worry so much.”

His smile is sympathetic, not judgmental in the slightest, and Chris’s heart clenches painfully in his chest at having to deceive him like this.

“It’s not that.” Chris brings up a hand, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck and racking his brain for an explanation. “I just, uh...”

He flounders, eyes flitting about the room nervously until suddenly, his gaze falls on the six- pack of beers on the dining table. “Oh, hey,” he cries, in what’s quite possibly the most unsubtle subject change in history, “Let me just go put these in the fridge. You want anything that’s already cold, in the meantime?”

A few seconds of awkward silence tick by in which Chris doesn’t dare look at Sebastian directly.

“Uh, sure, yeah,” Seb says eventually. “Just – whatever you’re having’s good.”    

“Great,” Chris says brightly, narrowly managing to stop himself from actually clapping his hands together like the raging moron he apparently is. He strides over to the dinner table, picks up the beers, and hightails it out of the living room.

As soon as he reaches the relative sanctuary of the kitchen, he cringes, slapping his palm to his forehead. God-fucking-dammit. This is not going well. Not well _at all_.

He’d been woefully unprepared for this interaction, that much is clear. Sure, he’s a good actor – he can admit as much these days – but improv has never been his strong suit and he’s been stumbling his way through the conversation like a bull in a china shop. There is no way Sebastian doesn’t think he’s completely lost his marbles, or worse; that he’s just being a dick for no good reason.

Chris squeezes his eyes shut, pushing his fists to his sockets to try and ward off the headache he feels coming on. When that doesn’t work, he rests his head against the cool chrome of the fridge for a moment, which actually does make him feel marginally better - until Sebastian suddenly speaks up from the living room.

“Hey, so, Chris,” he calls, an affected nonchalance to his tone. “How about this file that’s open on your laptop called ‘Avengers BTS compilation’ that’s like, six minutes long. You think we might be on to something here?”

If this were a movie instead of real life, this would be the moment where they’d insert a record scratch. In an instant, Chris’s blood runs cold. _Fuck_. He should’ve remembered to close the damn laptop, get rid of the evidence, but he’d been too distracted trying to put up a normal front for Sebastian.

He turns abruptly, nearly tripping over his own feet in his rush to get back to the living room.

“ _No_ ,” he says loudly, heart beating in his throat. “That’s just a, it’s not a...” _Well, what the fuck is it, Chris? Spit it out, man._

Seb gives him an incredulous look from where he’s perched on the couch, laptop in front of him on the coffee table. “Okay…” he says slowly. He sounds extremely skeptical, and Chris can’t blame him. “Well, I still think we’d better have a look, just in case.”

Almost as if in slow motion, he watches as Seb reaches out a hand and presses play.

For a split second, Chris debates whether to lunge himself over the back of the couch and just slam the damn thing closed, but there’s no point. Sebastian would think he’d gone completely mad, and besides, it’s already too late. Internally marveling at how spectacularly he’s lost control of the situation in such a short time, and with a sense of impending doom, Chris turns his eyes to the screen, where the video has now started to play.

~~~

_Mackie and Sebastian are howling with laughter, describing the food on the buffet table in various foreign accents, each one more outrageous than the next. They’re trying to outdo each other, and Mackie is winning; of course he is. He could always keep a straight face for far longer than Sebastian could. Seb eventually collapses in one of the plastic chairs, wheezing, holding his stomach with one hand and wiping the tears from his eyes with the other._

_~~~_

Chancing a surreptitious glance at real-life Sebastian, Chris finds him smiling from ear to ear, his eyes glued to the screen.

“Oh,” Seb says, delighted. “See, this is perfect, Chris. Exactly the kind of thing people are hoping for.”

Chris doesn’t reply. He needs all his energy just to keep it together.

_~~~_

_A shot of a restaurant, taken on the evening of the day when Hayley was in Atlanta to film her one scene for Endgame and they’d all gone out for dinner together. On the other side of a table strewn with empty dishes sit Hayley and Sebastian, reminiscing about the good old days of Cap 1, when they used to do this all the time. The two striking brunettes could easily pass for the world’s best-looking couple, except for how they aren’t one, Hayley animatedly retelling an anecdote that has Seb in stitches._

_~~~~_

_A dressing room; Sebastian lying prone on the floor while Dodger, who Chris brought to set that day, tries to sit on him._

_“See! That means he likes you,”_ _Chris’s disembodied voice cries triumphantly, just as Dodger settles contentedly on the back of Sebastian’s thighs and Seb dissolves once more into giggles._

_~~~_

“Man, I do love to laugh, don’t I?” Sebastian remarks, grinning, still not taking his eyes off the screen. Chris stifles a groan and has to close his eyes for a moment because _, yes, yes, Sebastian, you do love to laugh, and it’s maybe my favorite thing about you_.

_~~~_

_Sebastian and Lizzie chatting at lunch, discussing a book that Chris had recommended to Seb and that Lizzie had read, too. From behind the camera, Chris asks them the occasional question about it, his low laugh audible over the conversation when Seb goes off on another tangent about some minor detail that for some reason is fascinating to him._

_“I just can’t believe that’s how they grow!” he says, wide-eyed and wondering._

_~~~_

_Sebastian is talking straight at the camera, an intent expression on his face as he explains why he’s playing the scene just so._

_“He doesn’t want to fight anymore, he’s done enough of that,” Seb says seriously, Bucky’s long hair falling into his eyes. “But he could never deny Steve a damn thing, not when it comes to his safety. Steve comes first, no matter how uncomfortable the fight makes him.” He looks directly into the camera as he says the last words, his ocean-grey eyes earnest and jewel-like._

~~~~

  
“I look kinda handsome here.”

Sebastian glances up at Chris with a playful smile, and it’s all Chris can do to smile back helplessly, powerless to watch his own undoing unfold before his very eyes. In the background, Dinah continues her crooning, mocking his distress by providing an eerily perfect soundtrack to the images playing on the screen.

 

_Mad about the boy_

_I know it's stupid to be mad about the boy_

_I'm so ashamed of it but must admit the sleepless nights I've had_

_About the boy_

_On the silver screen_

_He melts my foolish heart in every single scene._

 

In his peripheral vision, he notices Sebastian shift a little on the couch, and Chris holds his breath, anxiously waiting for the penny to drop. But to his relief – or disappointment, maybe; at this point he almost wishes they could just get it over with – Seb doesn’t say anything more.

_~~~_

_The camera pans around the hair and make-up trailer, smoothly skipping over Danai and Ben and coming to rest on Seb sitting a few chairs away. He’s scrolling on his phone, singing softly to himself while he waits for his turn. His brow is furrowed in concentration, scrunching up his face a little when he tries to hit a high note. He doesn’t notice the camera._

_~~~_

_A nighttime scene. They’re at a club, people laughing and dancing, drink in hand. There’s Brie and Scarlett, heads close together as they talk; Hemsworth twirling Lizzie around the dancefloor; RDJ sipping on a mocktail as he regales Mackie with some improbable tale. And then there’s Sebastian, standing slightly off to the side by himself, swaying to the New Order tune that’s booming over the speakers, eyes closed and mouthing the words along. The camera steadies on him, perfectly catching how the lights flash across his face, painting him in purple and blue that highlights the sharpness of his cheekbones, the sweep of his lashes. He looks almost otherworldly._

_~~~_

An audible intake of breath to his left draws Chris’s attention away from the captivating image on the screen, back to the present. Back to real-life Sebastian, who’s still sitting on the couch in his living room, suddenly looking very much like he’s about to say something. His lips are parted and his eyes narrowed in confusion, and -–

There it is.

With a strange mix of dread and relief, Chris watches as realization slowly dawns on Sebastian’s face, can almost hear the pieces click into place as he inevitably comes to a damning conclusion.

Sebastian blinks. Slowly, he turns his head around and looks up at Chris. The feeling of Seb’s searching gaze on him makes Chris feel naked, utterly exposed, and he’s not equipped to deal with this. He just isn’t. So, he stares resolutely ahead, plucking at his beard for something to do, scared that if he’ll meet Sebastian’s eyes, he might just shatter to pieces.

_Will it ever cloy  
               This odd diversity of misery and joy?_

_You tell me, Dinah,_ Chris thinks, a little hysterically. From the corner of his eye, he sees Sebastian finally turn back to the screen, where the video is still playing happily along, impervious to Chris’s mortification.

_~~~_

_Sebastian lying on his back in the grass, t-shirt sleeves pushed up over his shoulders, trying to catch a tan. His eyes are closed and he seems to be dozing, just enjoying a moment of quiet in between takes. The camera follows the long, lean line of his body, feet to shoulders, lingering for a long moment on his blissful expression._

_~~~_

_A close-up of Sebastian’s face, laughing at something off camera. He’s positively glowing, his eyes sparkling and nose crinkling up as his smile lights up his whole face, until he’s just squeezing his eyes shut in pure joy._

_Slowly, the image starts to fade._

_▪ ▪ ▪_

 

“They’re all of me.”

It’s a statement of fact, acceptance tinged with something that sounds a little too much like pity, and suddenly, Chris is tired. He’s just so tired.

He sighs, resigned. “Yeah. Yes.”

The sudden silence is deafening, Dinah having conveniently fallen silent, too, and Chris has absolutely nothing left to hide behind. The seconds seem to stretch on for hours as he just keeps standing there, his unfocused eyes still leveled at the laptop screen, as if he might just vanish into thin air if only he stays still enough. If only.

 _Well,_ he thinks. _This is it, then._

With a truly Herculean effort, Chris forces himself to turn towards Sebastian, forces himself to face the shock that’s written plainly across the other man’s features.

Seb draws in a breath, opening his mouth as if to speak, then snaps it closed, before opening it again.

“But…” he manages eventually, sounding as if someone’s just told him the earth is flat after all. “You’ve been avoiding me.” He pauses to gather his thoughts, before adding, “And you’re – _you_. You don’t like men.”

He sounds so bewildered that Chris almost wants to laugh, although the sound that escapes him is, embarrassingly, much closer to a sob. When he tries to swallow, he finds his throat is too dry, so he gulps in a breath instead and drags a hand over his face.

“I think maybe there’s some bits in there we could use,” he says, his voice hoarse with disuse and emotion. “Maybe don’t… don’t post it to Twitter quite like this, though. It needs a bit of – editing.” Frowning as if he’s suddenly remembered something, he continues, “Look, I’ve gotta… I have to go - help someone with a… thing. You can let yourself out, yeah?”

Without waiting for a reply, he turns and starts towards the hallway, desperate for some fresh air and a place where he can’t feel Sebastian’s eyes on him.

Something, though, he’s not sure what, prompts him to stop before he reaches the door.

“It’s a -- self-preservation thing, you see?” he says, and he can’t help the way his voice wobbles. He meets Sebastian’s eyes for just a few seconds, managing a shaky smile and a nod, and then he’s gone.

He moves as if in a dream. His ears are still ringing and nothing feels quite real. It’s not until he’s five steps down the drive and the cool evening air clears his head a little that the significance of what’s just happened _really_ hits him.

Suddenly, he feels like all the air has been punched out of him. He doubles over with his head in his hands, gasping for air while trying very hard not to start hyperventilating. Jesus Christ, this is bad. He lets out a frustrated growl and forces himself to start walking again, desperate to put as much distance between himself and Sebastian as he possibly can.

He doesn’t even make it to the end of the drive before he hears Sebastian’s footsteps coming up behind him. “Chris, wait!”

Chris ignores him, just keeps on walking.

“Chris.”

Nu-uh. Nope. No way.

“ _Goddammit_ , Chris. Will you please just stop for a minute and listen to me?”

At unexpectedly exasperated tone of Seb’s voice, Chris finally staggers to a halt, balling his hands into fists at his sides. Fleeing is one thing; hurting Sebastian is another. He’s not ready – he’s not sure if he’ll ever be ready – but he knows he’ll have to face the music at some point. Might as well be now. Sebastian deserves an explanation, if nothing else.

He hangs his head in defeat, listening to the footsteps getting closer and closer. Suddenly, there’s a warm hand on his shoulder, resting there for a moment before giving the lightest of squeezes. Chris’s breath hitches, tears prickling behind his eyelids, but he’s _not_ going to cry. He’s _not,_ goddammit.

“Chris,” Seb says again, but softer this time.

Taking a final deep breath, Chris steels himself and turns around to meets Sebastian’s eyes. But before he can start apologizing, before he even has time to interpret the look on his face, Seb resolutely steps forward, takes Chris’s face between his hands, and kisses him. Straight on the mouth.

Chris’s whole world grinds to a halt. Under normal circumstances, the sound that escapes him would probably embarrass him no end, but since these are not normal circumstances – the very opposite, in fact – he doesn’t actually care much at all.

Seb’s mouth is soft and pliant against his, the hands on his face warm and gentle, thumbs stroking soothingly over his cheekbones. And even if none of this is real – which Chris strongly suspect it isn’t – it’s still the best thing he’s ever felt and he never wants it to end. 

So, of course, that’s when Sebastian pulls away.

He takes half a step back, his hands still on the sides of Chris’s neck. When their eyes meet, Chris finds Sebastian looking back at him with eyes that are soft but still a little cautious, a little guarded, like he doesn’t quite know what to make of it all. Well, that makes two of them.

“Was that,” Chris croaks. He stops to clear his throat and tries again. “Was that a pity kiss?”

To his surprise, Sebastian blinks, before barking out a laugh, turning his eyes skywards for a moment as if asking for strength.

“Chris, you fucking _dumbass_ ,” he says emphatically, and pulls him into another kiss.

 

 

**_Four months later_ **

It’s been a week since he’s last seen Chris, and already Sebastian is ready to hop on a plane and fly to LA, work commitments be damned. He’s filming on location in Atlanta and missing Chris terribly. They haven’t been able to speak much this past week what with work and the time difference, and even though he knows that sulking about it won’t make a damn bit of difference, that doesn’t stop him from giving it his all.

He’s just made it back to his trailer at the end of the day, ready to crash and indulge in one of his favorite daydreams (a memory now, actually, and when did this become his actual life? One moment you’re hopelessly in love and pining after your straight pal, and the next he’s sending you roses on the regular and asking you to join him and his entire family for a long weekend to Disneyworld), when his phone chimes with an incoming message. His stomach swoops when he sees who it’s from.

He knows it’s ridiculous, but even after dating for four months, he still gets a bit nervous when Chris sends him things. It’s a good nervous though, more of an excited anticipation, really. Still, his fingers are suddenly too clumsy for the delicate screen, and it takes him a precious few seconds longer than it normally would to open his new messages.

The first is a voice message, and that sends a little thrill down his spine. He loves hearing Chris’s voice. Balling up his sweater and using it as a makeshift pillow, he makes himself comfortable on the couch, stretching out along the length of it. When he hits play, the soothing tones of Chris’s rich baritone wash over him, instantly easing some of the tension he’s been carrying around all day. Chris has that effect on him.

“ _Hey, baby_ ,” Chris’s voice says warm and fond, and for a second, it’s almost as if he’s in the room with him.

“ _Hope you had a good day. I miss you. Been missin’ you since we said goodbye last Tuesday and I already know I won’t stop missin’ you until I see you again in two weeks’ time._ ” He lets out a slightly self-deprecating chuckle. “ _Wow, I can’t believe how much of a sap you’ve turned me into, sweetheart. My twenty-five-year-old self would be appalled if he could see me now. But you know what? I don’t care. You deserve someone to get all sappy over you, Sebastian, and I’m just grateful you’re letting it be me_.”

He sounds like he’s smiling and Sebastian can perfectly imagine the expression on Chris’s face as he said those words. That soft, mushy look he tends to get when he watches Seb wake up first thing in the morning. More than ever, Chris wears his emotions on his sleeve these days, constantly showering him in affection, and Sebastian just soaks it all up. He can’t even be embarrassed about it.

Fuck, but Chris is perfect. If anyone should feel grateful in this scenario, it’s Sebastian.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Chris chuckles in his deep, warm voice. “ _You’re probably rolling your eyes at me right now, but I would like to remind you that_ you _were the one that kissed_ me _, so you brought this all on yourself, buddy._ ” A soft sigh. “ _I couldn’t sleep last night, so I decided to use the time productively and made you something. Well, it’s really more for me than for you, but I’m hoping you’ll appreciate it, too. I guess it’s just a little something to tie us both over until we can see each other again. God, I can’t wait to kiss you, sweetheart. Have I told you I miss you? ‘Cause I do. I miss your smile and I miss your eyes and I miss your mouth. Your mouth most of all, actually.”_ He chuckles quietly. _“Okay, I should probably let you get back to your life now. See you soon, baby. I love you_.”

Blinking back the tears, Sebastian mouths the words back at his phone, like the love-sick teenager Chris apparently reverted him to. Or, actually, he doesn’t think he was ever this bad even as a teenager. Chris isn’t the only sap in this relationship, that’s for sure.

He takes a deep breath, then presses play on the video attachment.

~~~

_Sebastian’s apartment, about two months ago._

_“What’s going on, Seb?” Chris asks from behind the camera, sounding amused. Sebastian, standing in the kitchen in just his boxers, is cursing in a mixture of English and Romanian as he tries to unstick the pancake he just tossed and failed to catch from the counter, his increasingly agitated mutterings mixing with Chris’s low, rich laugh. Seb looks over his shoulder at the camera._

_“I’m trying to make you pancakes,” he pouts, “but it’s not going very well.”_

_~~~_

_Sebastian talking to Chris’s mom, during a lunch at Chris’s favorite restaurant in NYC last month. She’d come over specifically to meet Sebastian again, this time as Chris’s boyfriend._

_“I’m just saying,” Lisa smirks at Sebastian. “I could have saved you two a whole lot of misery if my idiot boy had just talked to me. The way you looked at him even back when I saw you two together for the first time wasn’t exactly subtle, honey,” she finishes, patting Seb’s cheek._

_Groaning, Sebastian blushes and covers his face with his hands._

_~~~_

_Chris’s bedroom, last Monday morning. Sebastian is lying on his back, bare chested, his modesty just preserved by the sheets draped loosely over his lower body. He’s stirring lightly, waking up, blinking owlishly and scrunching his nose up a little when the daylight hurts his eyes. Making a small, displeased sound, he tries to pull the covers up over his face, but Chris stops him. Sebastian squints up at him angrily, his hair standing up at odd angles and his cheeks still flushed with sleep._

_“Morning, gorgeous,” Chris whispers, barely suppressing a laugh, then leans in to kiss the frown right off Sebastian’s face._

_~~~_

_Seb on the couch in Chris’s LA house, rolling his eyes at the camera._

_“Yes, Chris,” he’s saying. “You’re the best, just incredible, wow, so knowledgeable and wise, the smartest person I’ve ever known, I will never doubt you ever again.”_

_They’d gotten into a debate over whether Pluto was declassified as a planet in July or August of 2006, and when Chris turned out to be right in saying it was August, he made Seb acknowledge his superiority and record it for posterity._

_“Happy now?” Seb asks petulantly._

_“Perfectly,” Chris replies, sounding smug. Seb can just about be heard muttering, “I can’t believe I’m in love with an actual child,” before Chris tackles Seb to the couch and the image cuts out._

_~~~_

_A video recorded by Sebastian, this time; one that he sent to Chris when they’d last been forced to spend a chunk of time apart due to work commitments._

_“Hi, babe,” Seb smiles at the camera, pushing his still damp hair off his forehead with his free hand. “Just wanted to check in. I miss you, wish I could come see you sooner. Good luck on your meeting tomorrow, you’re going to knock ‘em dead. You got this, baby,” he says, blowing the camera a kiss. His eyes get a faraway look in them then. “I was just thinking about last year during that blizzard in Boston, remember? Best few days of my life, I swear to god. Fuck, I love you.” He flashes the camera a bright grin. “Okay, I gotta run but let’s talk tomorrow, okay? Six ‘o clock your time, don’t be late. Love you, byeee.”_

_~~~~_

_Sebastian sitting at his usual spot at his favorite Italian place near his apartment, quite literally stuffing his face with tiramisu. He’s eating so fast that he’s in danger of choking on it, almost cradling the plate to his body._

_“Seb,” Chris’s voice says incredulously. “Are you seriously not going to let me have any?”_

_Sebastian resolutely shakes his head, just keeps eating. “Nuh-uh,” he says through a mouth full of desert. “I asked you if you wanted to order dessert and you said ‘no’, and then I then I told you the tiramisu at this place is to die for and asked you if you were absolutely sure, and you said ‘yes, Seb, I’m absolutely sure’, and then the dessert comes out and before I even had one bite,_ one bite _, you have the audacity to try and steal some. So, no, Chris, this is my tiramisu, not yours, and don’t you give me those puppy eyes, either. You know as well as I do that it’s about the principle of the thing.”_

_And then he’s forking the last few bites into his mouth, swallowing it all down before giving Chris the biggest smirk. “Hmm, that was delicious,” he drawls, licking his lips, and the camera goes shaky because Chris is leaning forward over the table, murmuring, “C’mere, you. You can at least gimme a taste,” as he pulls Sebastian in for a kiss._

~~~

Back in his trailer, Sebastian closes his eyes and thanks his lucky stars for his beautiful, caring, wonderful dork of a boyfriend. And for the existence of cameras. He owes so many wonderful things in his life to the existence of cameras. His passion, his livelihood, and now, the love of his life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is pure smut.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris and Sebastian decide to get a little adventurous with the camera.

**_Eight months later_ **

Chris is practically vibrating out of his skin as he walks into Sebastian’s apartment, shutting the door behind him. The heavy thud of the door closing echoes loudly in the otherwise quiet apartment. Sebastian doesn’t have a pet (yet), so there’s no barking or scrabbling paws on the hardwood floors to greet him, but Chris can’t deny he’s glad he doesn’t have to go back out into the cold to walk Dodger right now. He’s positive his dog getting plenty of love and affection at his sister’s house this weekend anyway; his nephews are crazy about Dodger and are more than happy to play with him any chance they get. Chris loves his dog an unhealthy amount (and yes, he’s aware of that) but even he realizes that it’s better not to have a dog running around for what they’re about to do tonight.

“Sebastian?” he calls out into the quiet.

There’s no immediate reply, so Chris kicks off his shoes and walks further into the apartment. “Baby?”

“I’m in here.”

Sebastian’s voice comes from the direction of the bedroom. Chris’s heart stutters in his chest at hearing it, just like usual, and now something tightens low in his belly in anticipation of what’s to come. He pushes open the door to the bedroom, where the last of the rapidly fading daylight is casting the room in a soft, orange glow. Sebastian sits on the bed, leaning back against the headboard with some pillows propped behind his back, casually dressed in grey sweatpants and a tight, black t-shirt. He looks up from the tablet in his hands the moment Chris walks into the room, smiling sweetly at him, and god, Sebastian’s smiles. Chris is pretty sure they could right most of the world’s wrongs, given half the chance.

“Hey, baby,” Chris breathes, zipping open his coat. “What are you doing in here?”

He walks over to the bed and leans down to press a soft, lingering kiss to Sebastian’s lips by way of greeting. They haven’t properly seen each other since breakfast yesterday morning, their individual commitments keeping them from spending quality time together (at least while awake), so Chris takes his time drinking him in. Sebastian’s lips are soft and pliant against his, and his breath has a hint of mint on it, as if he’d brushed his teeth not too long ago.

When he eventually straightens up again, he notices a hint of color on Sebastian’s cheekbones.

Chris gives him a curious look. “You okay?”

Seb clears his throat. “I, uh,” he starts hesitantly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just thought we could start, um, straight away?”

The look that accompanies his words is equal parts hopeful and embarrassed, and Chris feels a pang of affection for him that's so strong it takes his breath away for a moment. He can’t help but lean in for another kiss, a little deeper this time, one of his hands cradling the side of Sebastian’s clean-shaven face.

“So eager to get started, huh sweetheart,” he murmurs against Seb’s lips. “That makes me so happy, you know that? So good for me.” He feels Sebastian shiver under his touch.

They’ve been talking about this for a while. After all, they're both actors, and while that doesn’t necessarily mean they enjoy watching themselves perform, they certainly enjoy watching one another – and besides, they _know_ they look good on screen. So really, with both of them being into trying new things in the bedroom (which they realized pretty early on in their relationship), and them spending so much time apart for work, it’s only logical that they would want to try their hand at a homemade sex tape. Just to get them through the lonely nights, you know?  

They’re not idiots, however; they’re fully aware of the scandal that would occur if such a tape ever got into the wrong hands, given the size and ferocity of both their fan bases and the fact that Chris is one of the highest paid actors in the world.

So, they did their research. Fortunately for them, it turned out there was an app that was both suited to their purposes and extremely discreet, and they both felt it was safe enough to give it a try. Since this isn’t something they want to rush, they’d decided to wait until they could both take a few days off to spend together, just the two of them. Unfortunately, that proved easier said than done, and the last three weeks had been somewhat of a test of endurance.

Tonight, though. Tonight, their patience will finally pay off.  

"Alright then," Chris decides. "Let's get this show on the road."

 

___

 

For a few seconds, the image is hazy, spots of soft, subdued color growing sharper until the camera focuses on Sebastian’s lean form. He’s standing by the window of their bedroom, back to the viewer.

“ _Sebastian_ ,” comes Chris’s voice from behind the camera, deep and commanding. “ _Close the curtains, please._ ”

Stepping closer to the window, Sebastian carefully pulls the heavy, navy curtains shut. He stands there for a moment, almost as if he’s gathering himself, before slowly turning around to face Chris. He doesn’t look at the camera head on, instead glancing up at it almost demurely from beneath his dark lashes.

“ _You feeling a little shy_?” Chris asks, his voice gentle. When Sebastian nods again, biting his lip, Chris chuckles. “ _It’s okay, honey. I’ll take good care of you. I always do, don’t I_?”

Sebastian smiles then, almost unconsciously. “Yeah,” he says softly, the trust in his gaze practically palpable. “You do.”

“ _That’s right_ ,” Chris says. “ _And will you be good for me tonight, Sebastian_?”

Seb nods again, a little more certain this time.

“ _What was that? I can’t hear you_.”

Sebastian clears his throat. “I’ll be so good for you, Chris,” he replies.  

“ _That’s my boy_ ,” Chris says approvingly. Seb stands up a little straighter. “ _Why don’t you go stand over by the bed and take off that tight little tee, hm? Did you put that on just to make me want to get my hands on you?_ ”

A mischievous smile pulls on the corners of Sebastian’s mouth. “Maybe.”

“ _Well, as much as I’d like to take it off you, that’s not what I’ve got planned for you tonight, sweetheart_.”

Cocking his head to the right, Seb gives Chris a questioning look, waiting for him to explain further. All he gets is another instruction.

“ _Take of your shirt, Seb_ ,” Chris orders. “ _Slowly_.”

Sebastian grabs the hem of his shirt and lifts it up a little, teasing a glimpse of his tan abdomen. He pulls it higher, with a little more intent now, exposing his left nipple and throwing the camera a cheeky glance. Next, he grabs the hem of his shirt with both hands and slowly pulls it over his head, tossing it over the chair next to the bed. His torso is tanned and toned; not overly so, but enough that his abs and pecs have clear definition.  

“ _Very good_ ,” Chris rumbles. “ _Now, touch your chest for me, play with your nipples a little_.”

A visible shiver runs through Sebastian’s frame as he rubs the pad of his thumb over his left nipple.

“ _Give it a pinch_.”

Seb obeys, taking the hardening nub between his thumb and forefinger and pinching, even twisting a little. He hisses, then repeats the movement on his other side, until both his nipples are darkened and stiff.

Chris hums. “ _Good, you’re doing so well, baby. Now, run your hand down your body, slowly, slowly, that’s it – a little lower. There we go. Now, cup yourself through your sweats_.”

When Sebastian seems to realize suddenly that he’s standing there, in the middle of the room, shirtless and with one hand on his crotch, he starts to blush, averting his eyes.

“ _Are you embarrassed, Sebastian?_ ” Chris asks, not unkindly, but maybe a little teasingly. “ _There’s no need, honey. You look so good like this, so damn good. Can you squeeze yourself a little? Make yourself hard for me, okay?_ ”

A whimper escapes Seb as he starts palming his erection through his sweats, small squeezing motions, slowly working himself up to full mast. His eyes fall closed of their own accord, eyelids fluttering when something feels particularly good.

“ _How does that feel?_ ”

Releasing a shuddering sigh, Sebastian breathes, “Feels good.”

“ _Yeah? You wanna take off the pants?_ ”

“Please,” Seb replies, voice low and gravelly.

“ _Okay then, take ‘em off. But remember, slowly_.”

Hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his sweatpants, Sebastian inches them down his hips, pulling them away from his body a fraction to allow his erection to spring free.

Behind the camera, Chris groans. “ _Fuck, baby. No underwear, huh? You know just how to make me happy, don’t you?_ ”

Sebastian flashes the camera a cheeky grin, before stepping out of the pants that have pooled around his feet and kicking them aside. His hands twitch at his side, clearly holding himself back from doing anything without permission. “Can I – can I touch myself?” he asks eventually, timid.  

“ _Just a minute. Go and sit down on the edge of the bed for me first, okay? Good, that’s good. Now spread your legs for me_.”

Doing as he’s told, Seb leans back on the bed and spreads his legs, his hard cock resting against his taut abs.

Chris sighs, blowing out a slow breath. “ _So fucking gorgeous, Seb_.”

That tickles Sebastian, making him blush even deeper as he shifts restlessly on the bed. “Please…”

“ _Alright, okay_ ,” Chris says, placating. “ _Take yourself in hand_.”

The minute Seb wraps his fingers around his erection he lets out a breathy moan, starting to work himself in easy, languid strokes.

“ _There’s my good boy. Describe to me what you’re feeling, darling_.”  

A soft sigh falls from Sebastian’s lips as his head tips back a little. “Hmm, feels good,” he murmurs. ‘S so good, Chris, I‘m so hard.”

Chris hums, low in his throat. “ _Are you wet yet?_ ”

Seb nods, deliberately swiping his thumb over the head of his cock, through the precome that’s pearled there. “’m really wet, fuck.”

“ _Yeah,_ ” Chris breathes. “ _You’re always so wet, baby. It’s so fucking hot_.” He swallows audibly. “ _Spread it over yourself, get it nice and slick. Keep it slow, though. I want you to give yourself a squeeze if it starts feeling too good, okay?_ ”

Sebastian whimpers, managing a shaky nod.

“ _Good boy. Now lie back for me, touch your balls with your other hand. Massage them a little, roll ‘em between your fingers._ ” When Seb moans again, a little louder this time, Chris huffs a laugh. “ _Yeah, you like that, don’t you? You know, if you’re good for me tonight, maybe tomorrow I’ll get my mouth on them again, how’s that?_ ”

“Fuck,” Seb groans, his hand speeding up automatically. He jacks himself a little quicker, a little tighter, his breath coming faster now, too. It doesn’t take long for his brow to furrow in pleasure as his mouth falls open, his hips bucking up into his own grip, and just when his moans are starting to go high-pitched –

“ _Stop_.”

Sebastian responds flawlessly to the natural authority in Chris’s voice. His hand stills on his cock immediately, although he’s hardly quiet about it. The whine he lets out is loud and plaintive, as he lies there on his back, panting up at the ceiling. When Chris doesn’t say anything more for almost a full minute, Sebastian’s mouth forms another tiny, almost inaudible “ _please_.”

Chris shushes him softly. “ _Not yet, you know that. Scoot back on the bed a little and turn around now. No, no, not like that_ ,” he tuts when Seb lies down flat on his stomach. “ _I need you face down, ass up for this, baby._ ”

Sebastian groans. “Fuck,” he says softly, rubbing his face into the mattress for a moment as if to hide his blush. Slowly, he gets his legs under him so that he’s kneeled on the mattress with his ass up in the air.

Chris walks closer to the bed, camera in hand, until he’s close enough to reach out and run his palm gently over the swell of Sebastian’s backside. Out of nowhere, he suddenly smacks his right cheek, once, the slap echoing through the otherwise silent room mingling with Sebastian’s shout of surprise.

“ _Oh, I’m sorry,_ ” Chris says casually, not sounding sorry in the slightest. “ _Couldn’t help myself, it’s such a cute little ass._ ”

The sound Sebastian makes in response could be indignant or pleased – it’s hard to tell with his face mashed into the mattress like this. Chris keeps the camera on Seb’s form as he walks around the bed to grab something off the nightstand, before going to stand behind Sebastian again and shamelessly steadying the camera on his ass, even zooming in a little.

“ _Spread yourself open for me, sweetheart_ ,” Chris rumbles.

The filthy request causes a visible shiver to run through Sebastian. He does as he’s told though, lifting his arms behind him and grabbing his cheeks, pulling them apart slowly to expose himself to Chris, to the camera.

There’s a shaky exhale from Chris as he reaches out a hand and gently, unhurriedly, runs his index finger between Seb’s cheeks, over his entrance. “ _Fuck, baby_ ,” Chris breathes. “ _You look good enough to eat_.” When Sebastian makes a small, enthusiastic noise, Chris laughs quietly. “ _Aw, I’m sorry, I can’t film and eat you out at the same time. That’ll have to wait until some other time_.” He strokes a finger over Seb’s hole again, gently teasing the smooth, pink flesh, and then mutters, “ _Ah, fuck it_ ,” and leans in anyway.

Sebastian’s breathless gasps nearly drown out Chris’s appreciative hum. “ _Hmmm, you taste so good, sweetheart._ ”

Straightening up again, Chris tries his best not to give in to Sebastian’s breathy little pleas for more, the way he’s tilting his hips even further to try and look as inviting as possible, but he’s only human. He swears softly, and then there’s some fumbling and the sound of a lid being popped, before Chris is one-handedly drizzling a clear, viscous substance between Sebastian’s cheeks. The camera perfectly catches the way it drips down his perineum, onto his balls; the protesting sound Seb makes at the chilly sensation.

Chris spreads it around, carefully rubbing the lube over Sebastian’s hole in small, circular motions. When he starts putting more pressure on his rim with the pad of his thumb, Seb’s fingers dig harder into the meat of his cheeks, tensing as Chris slowly pushes the tip past the tight ring of muscle.

“ _That’s it_ ,” Chris says softly, twisting his finger a little. Sebastian’s breath hitches. “ _You want more, baby?_ ”

“Please,” Sebastian moans, softly, but with a desperate edge to it already.

Chris takes mercy on him, quickly switching his thumb for his middle finger. He doesn’t tease this time, just presses forward and pushes his entire finger in in one, smooth motion. With a low sound, Seb pushes back against his hand, asking for more, so Chris lines up his index finger next to his middle one and sticks that one in too, deep as it’ll go.

Seb arches his back. “Oh, fuck.”

“ _Oh, that’s what you want?_ ” Chris asks. “ _You want to be fucked, baby boy?_ ” He starts to move his hand, steadily sliding his fingers in and out, the motion eased by the generous amount of lube he applied. He doesn’t go slow for long, though. Unable to hold himself back, Chris’s thrusts speed up until he’s full on finger-fucking Sebastian, twisting and curling the digits inside of him to make him gasp oh so prettily.

Sebastian’s fingers claw at the sheets and he’s panting, breath coming in short bursts. “I can’t – oh, Chris – _please_.”

“ _Mm, that’s right,_ ” Chris rumbles, focusing the camera on where his fingers disappear into Sebastian’s tight asshole, over and over again. “ _You need it so bad, don’t you?_ ”

Seb whimpers, arching his back even further, and Chris groans. “ _God, you’re so fucking hot and tight in here, baby. I can feel you clenching around my fingers, like you never wanna let me go. So good for me, sweetheart. Fuck._ ”

He curls his fingers again, and this time Seb’s stutters out a long, low moan.

“ _Right there?_ ” Chris asks intently, repeating the motion. “ _That’s the spot?_ ”

Sebastian may be unable to reply, but his reactions speak volumes. He’s gone boneless under Chris’s touch, gasping wetly into the sheets while Chris keeps his fingers buried deep in his ass, not visibly moving them, but curling them on the inside, focusing on that spot that makes Sebastian’s legs tremble underneath him.

“Chris, Chr- oh my – _please_ ,” Sebastian begs, shameless now. “There, right there, yes, oh _god_.”

Chris keeps up the unrelenting pressure on Seb’s prostate, massaging his perineum with his thumb at the same time, until Sebastian is a trembling, mewling mess with none of his usual ingrained regard for decorum.

“Ah, I’m gonna – oh shit, ah, _ah_ ,” Seb gasps, open-mouthed, and at that moment, Chris suddenly, abruptly, withdraws his fingers.

With an honest to god wail, Seb collapses onto the mattress, breathing hard and clenching his eyes shut, his whole body tensed and radiating frustration. Stroking a broad palm down Sebastian’s spine, Chris makes soft, soothing sounds that would be sweet if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s also the cause for Sebastian’s distress.

Chris gently pats Seb’s backside. “ _Turn around for me, Seb_.”

Drawing in a deep breath, Sebastian pushes himself up on his elbows and rolls over. His chest is still heaving as he settles on his back and looks up at Chris, eyes shining with unshed tears of frustration.

“ _Oh, look at you_ ,” Chris says softly. Reverently. He lets the camera trail the length of Sebastian’s naked body, splayed on the mattress with his rock-hard cock lying leaking and flushed against his stomach. “ _God, you’re beautiful, sweetheart. So fucking stunning. Can’t believe your mine_.”

Sebastian’s eyes grow visibly darker at Chris’s words, the camera zooming in on his expression, capturing the way he licks his lips as their gazes lock.

“ _That’s right, isn’t it? You’re_ mine. _All mine to do with as I please_.” Chris voice is soft, but his tone is outright possessive. Seb bites down hard on his lower lip, eyes never leaving Chris’s. It’s like he’s feeding off the words, soaking them up and letting them fuel the fire in his eyes.

Chris lets the camera trail after his fingers as they travel up the inside of Seb’s thigh, up and up until his fingertips ghost over his cock. It twitches under his touch, but otherwise Sebastian doesn’t move.

“ _You’ll let me do anything, won’t you?_ ” Chris asks, almost marveling. “ _Anything to make me happy. I adore that about you, Sebastian. So, so good for me_.”

Chris moves then, climbing higher onto the mattress before straddling Seb's torso, inching upwards until he’s hovering over his chest. He turns the camera downwards towards Sebastian’s face. This way, his own lower body is now also in the frame: he’s naked too, at least from the waist down, his thick, cut cock jutting out in front of him. He wraps his right hand around it, giving it a few slow tugs, before guiding it closer to Sebastian’s face. Automatically, Seb opens his mouth, but when Chris murmurs, “ _No, keep it closed_ ,” he shuts it again obediently.

Gently, almost like a caress, Chris runs the tip of his dick over Sebastian’s lips, smearing them with his precome. Involuntarily, Sebastian’s tongue darts out, pink and glistening, to lick at the wetness on his lips, making Chris withdraw immediately. Seb’s eyes widen. “Sorry, I didn’t –”

“S _’alright, baby_ ,” Chris interrupts him. “ _I know you just want a taste, but just let me, okay?_ ” When Sebastian nods earnestly, Chris moves closer again. “ _Stick out your tongue, sweetheart_.”  

He hums in approval when Sebastian follows his order without faltering, guiding his dick to Seb’s mouth again, this time just resting it on his outstretched tongue. “ _Lick it_ ,” he tells him steadily, sounding almost indifferent. “ _But don’t move your head yet._ ”

Moaning, Sebastian starts to move his tongue, curling it around the head; little kitten licks, nudging the tip of his tongue against the slit to tease out some more precome, then lapping it up greedily.

“ _Ah, fuck_ ,” Chris chokes out. The camera wavers a little. “ _Shit. Yeah, that feels real nice, baby. Jesus, that tongue…_ ”

Seb hums and keeps at it, keeping as still as he can as he licks at Chris’s dick like it’s a lollipop, until Chris’s hips start to stutter forward involuntarily. “ _Alright, that’s enough, Seb_ ,” he pants, somehow still managing to sound authoritative even when he’s breathing about twice as hard as usual. “ _Keep still for me now, yeah?_ ”

“Yeah,” Seb whispers duly, right before Chris slides his free hand into Sebastian’s hair and tugs hard, pulling his head backwards so that his upper body arches under the strain. Seb’s mouth falls open into a silent gasp and his eyes flutter closed, putting up no resistance as he lets Chris manhandle him into position.

“ _Now open your mouth, sweetheart_ ,” Chris orders. “ _Wide as you can, please_.”

Slowly, Chris starts to push his dick into Sebastian’s open, waiting mouth, sliding it across his tongue. He keeps pushing forward, plunging deeper and deeper down his throat until he meets resistance. Seb makes a choking sound, swallowing down on his gag reflex. He doesn’t move though – or rather can’t, with Chris hand still in his hair, keeping him in place. With Chris’s cock effectively blocking his airways, Sebastian is forced to breathe through his nose, as steadily as he’s able, eyes glazed over with arousal.

“ _Good. Now close… Very good, that’s my boy. I’m going to fuck your mouth now. You gonna be a good boy and let me?_ ”

Sebastian grunts, which Chris seems to take for assent, because a moment later, he starts to move his hips, slowly pulling out first before pushing back into the wet heat of Sebastian’s mouth. He’s pointing the camera downwards, filming the way his dick slides between Sebastian’s slick, red lips. Soon, his thrusts become more forceful, rougher, losing some of the carefulness from before. It’s getting messy now, Sebastian starting to drool a little around Chris’s length, spit and precome mingling to make Chris’s dick nice and slick as he keeps on fucking his face, and for a while, the only sounds in the room are those soft, wet sounds and Sebastian’s throaty, needy moans.

“ _Goddam,_ _baby boy, that’s good. That’s so good, fuck_.” Chris’s brain-to-mouth filter is slipping already, rendered useless by the sensations Seb’s mouth is inflicting on him. “ _Look at you, you love it, don’t you? Greedy little boy like you, choking on my cock and getting off on it, too.”_

Screwing his eyes shut, Sebastian moans in agreement, and Chris loosens his grip on Seb’s hair so that he can lean back against the pillow again. “ _Jesus fucking Christ, Seb,”_ Chris groans, _“that mouth of yours… You were made for this, I swear to god_.”

Sebastian hums contentedly, his eyes still closed. Now that Chris has stopped moving his hips, he's just suckling gently at the head, showing zero inclination to let Chris slip from his mouth. Chris sighs, focusing the camera Sebastian’s red, wet lips, practically caressing his dick.

“ _Yeah, sugar, that’s it. Suck on it, just like that. God, you’re sweet._ ” He brings a hand to Sebastian’s cheek and strokes it tenderly, thumb rubbing at the corner of his mouth where it's stretched around his girth.

Seb lets out a soft whimper when Chris finally pulls out, but Chris places his finger over his lips to hush him. “ _Don’t worry, pretty baby. You’ll get it back, I promise_.”

He climbs off Seb then, moving to the side of the mattress for a moment as he gestures for Sebastian to turn around again. “ _Just like before, please. Face down, ass up. That’s how you like it, isn’t it, sweetheart?_ ”

“Yeah, fuck yeah,” Sebastian’s says, voice sounding rough and raspy.

“ _Yeah_ ,” Chris agrees, when Sebastian is in position again. He taps Seb’s hip with his fingers. “ _You know the drill, baby_.”

With shaking hands, Seb reaches behind himself again to spread apart his cheeks.

“ _Still so slick_ ,” Chris mumbles, nudging aside Sebastian’s right hand and replacing it with his own. He rubs his thumb firmly over Seb’s hole and pulls at the flesh, stretching him open a bit. “ _Such a pretty little hole. You think you’re loose enough? Think you’re ready for my cock?”_

Sebastian moans, loud and enthusiastic, pushing his ass back at Chris in a way that leaves no doubt as to whether he thinks he’s ready or not.

Chris gives a low chuckle, teasing at Sebastian’s rim with a fingertip. “ _Yeah, that’s what I thought. Always so eager, my baby boy. Want me to just stick it in, huh?_ ”

Sebastian keens, implying that, _yes_ , he wants that very much, so Chris points the camera downwards to get a good shot, lines up, and pushes straight in, into the vice-like grip of Sebastian’s body. Sebastian makes a sound deep in his chest, somewhere between a grunt and a growl, not quietening down until Chris has bottomed out.

“ _Tell me how it feels, Sebastian_ ,” Chris orders, sounding a little breathless, rubbing soothing circles on Seb’s right hip.

It takes Sebastian a moment to find his voice, but then he rasps, “It’s – full. I’m so full, _fuck_.”

“ _Yeah, stuffed full of my cock, aren’t you? And what else, baby? Tell me what else you feel._ ”

Seb moans, rubbing his face against the mattress. “It hurts a little,” he says in a small voice. He sucks in a breath and holds it before breathlessly confessing, “But – I like it.”

Chris hums, abruptly punching his hips forward so Sebastian’s releases his breath in a rush. “ _Yeah, you like it when it burns, don’t you, sugar? You wanna feel it, feel my cock stretching you open. Makes you feel like I’m claiming you._ ”

“Nnngg, yeah, fuck yes, I love it,” Sebastian hisses impatiently, arching his back like a cat. “C’mon, please…”

“ _Please what_?” Chris asks, letting an edge of nastiness creep into his tone and punctuating his question with another sharp jab of his hips.

“Please fuck me, Chris, _please_.” Sebastian is full-on pleading now, sounding more desperate by the second. “Fuck me hard, fuck me so deep I can’t walk after, just – please, _fuck me_.”

“ _Anything you want, baby boy_ ,” Chris agrees, and then he’s pulling out and thrusting in again, starting to fuck him exactly like he wants to be fucked. Gripping Sebastian’s hip tightly with his free hand, Chris keeps him steady as he pushes into him again and again, meeting his pleas of _harder, faster_ with unforgiving thrusts that have Sebastian struggling to stay upright, his thighs trembling under the strain of Chris bearing down on him. He doesn’t go easy on him, giving it to him good and steadily punching increasingly wild and frenzied moans from Seb’s lungs.

When Chris eventually switches from sharp thrusts to a slow, lazy rocking of his hips, Seb is breathing erratically, his back heaving from the exertion, even though he’s technically just sitting pretty and taking it while Chris does all the work. Chris circles his hips, a filthy grind, making him gasp with his mouth half open and his cheek pressed into the mattress.

“ _You had enough yet, sweetheart_?” Chris asks, his tone rough as he pulls Seb’s ass back against him with a hand on his hip.

“Nhhh--” Sebastian manages, but Chris pulls out anyway, prompting Seb to cry out in protest. “No, please, don’t… _don’t go_ , please.”

“ _Shh, baby,_ ” Chris shushes, not unkindly. “ _Bear with me one moment, alright? I’ll be right back_.” He’s already climbing off the bed, the camera sweeping across the room as he walks over to a stand at the side of the bed and fixes the device onto it in a few handy movements. He checks the angle, adjusting it until he’s satisfied, then steps out in front of it.

Chris is completely naked, broad-shouldered and slim-hipped, his firm, well-defined ass in full view as he stalks back over to the bed and climbs back onto it. Sebastian has now flopped down onto his stomach, apparently resigned to the fact that he’ll just have to give himself over to Chris and will get whatever Chris decides to give him, whenever he decides to give it to him.

It seems Chris decides that’ll be sooner rather than later, grabbing Sebastian’s shoulder and hauling him up into his arms. He maneuvers Seb until he’s facing him and Chris can finally take his face between his large hands and kiss him, hard and deep. Sebastian moans, his hands scrambling weakly at Chris’s sides, until Chris shoves a hand into Sebastian’s dark hair and pulls, angling his head back so that he can plunge his tongue in deeper. He devours Seb’s mouth, a hot, possessive kiss, and Sebastian just lets himself be kissed, not even trying to avoid the beard burn, his eyes closed and his hands drifting down Chris’s back until they come to rest on his ass.

When he digs his fingers into the firm flesh suddenly, Chris growls into Sebastian’s mouth and all but shoves him back onto the mattress, making him bounce off it. Sebastian is breathing fast, gazing up at Chris with dark eyes, his pupils blown and his lips red from all the biting and kissing he’s been doing. Chris regards him for a moment, drinking him in, and then he swears under his breath and practically climbs on top of him, pinning Sebastian down. In a lightning fast move, he flips them over, pulling Seb on top of him. He gropes around behind his head for a moment until his hand finds a pillow, then lifts up his head and bunches up the pillow behind it, making sure his face will be in shot.   

“Get up, baby,” Chris says, tone brooking no argument. “I want you to turn around and face the camera, and then I want you to sit on it.”

“Oh,” Seb breathes, wide-eyed, and he’s scrambling up and turning around, straddling Chris’s thighs backwards as he lifts himself up on one outstretched arm. He grabs Chris’s cock with his other hand and steadies it, guiding it to his hole before slowly sinking down, inch by inch. At the feeling of being filled up again, his eyes roll back, a choked-off sound falling from his parted lips. Seemingly impatient, Chris puts his big hands on Sebastian’s hips and pulls him down the last inch or so, until he’s properly seated in his lap. Sebastian moans, brow scrunching up into a complicated expression, but smoothing out again as Chris slowly starts to gently circle his hips, letting Seb get used to the strain before attempting anything more strenuous.

When he’s deemed it long enough, Chris sits up slightly so he can wrap his arms around Sebastian’s torso and pull him back onto his wide chest. “Spread your legs, sweetheart,” Chris murmurs into his ear, nudging apart Seb’s ankles with his feet until Seb gets with the program and parts his legs wide on either side of Chris’s knees, planting his feet on the mattress. This way, the camera has an unobstructed view of where Chris’s thick cock disappears into Sebastian’s body, the way Sebastian is spread open to accommodate Chris’s considerable girth.

For a moment, they just lie there, wrapped up in each other and breathing together, until suddenly, without warning, Chris’s hips snap up, then again, and again. Sebastian lets out a strangled shout, his arms flailing for a moment until his hands find purchase in the sheets, gripping them tightly as if he physically needs the support. Which might well be true, seeing how Sebastian’s body jolts with the force of Chris’s thrusts, his hard, flushed and so far neglected cock helplessly bobbing up and down on his stomach.

“Oh shit, oh god, ah, ah, _Chris_ ,” Seb moans, each syllable punched from his lungs individually as Chris jackhammers up into him. Adding insult to injury, Chris then starts to kiss his neck, licking and biting the sensitive skin until Sebastian is whimpering and squirming on top of him.

“Am I hitting the spot, sugar?” Chris grunts into his ear, scraping his teeth over the shell. “This how you wanted it? Hard and fast, right, just me fucking that hot little ass of yours until you come all over yourself?”

“Fuck, Chris, it’s so _–_ _uhhh_ , _please_ ,” Seb sobs, tears leaking from the corners of his ocean grey eyes.

Chris raises a hand from Sebastian’s waist to bring it up to his neck, just resting it over his throat – not to trap him, but to ground him. “You take it so well, sweetheart,” he whispers hotly. “Such a good boy, _fuck_. You’re lookin’ so pretty right now, all fucked out and gorgeous. The camera loves you, baby. Always has, always will.”

Sebastian throws his head back even further at the praise, trying to suppress the whine that threatens to break from his chest by biting down on his lip so hard he’s in danger of drawing blood.

“You know what I think?” Chris asks in a low voice. “I think you don’t wanna be quiet. I think you want to scream so loud that all the neighbors can hear you, am I right? You want ‘em to know you’re getting fucked so good, taking my cock like a good little boy. Don’t you, baby?”

At that moment, Chris reaches around Sebastian and wraps his fingers around his dick, stroking him tight and fast to the rhythm of his thrusts, and Sebastian howls. Throwing all inhibitions to the wind, he moans and pleads as if his life depends on it, completely surrendering to Chris as he races towards his climax.

“You almost there?” Chris asks, when Sebastian’s moans rapidly rise in pitch again. Chris is breathless with the effort of pounding into Seb but he’s not letting up. “You gonna come for me, pretty baby?”

Sebastian is mindlessly chanting Chris’s name now, clearly hanging on by a thread.

“Come on, baby boy,” Chris urges. “Come for me. I wanna feel you come around me.”

Somehow, with heroic effort, Seb manages to gasp, “Come in me. Pl- _uh_ -please, I wanna feel… _please_.”

Chris tightens his grip on Sebastian’s torso with his left arm. “Yes, yeah, baby,” he growls, sounding half out of it himself now. “I’ll fill you up, gonna come so deep inside your sweet little ass everyone’ll know you’re mine.”

It makes no sense, really, but the intention is clear and it does the trick. With a final, desperate mewling sound, Sebastian spasms on top of him and starts to come, spurting into Chris’s fist and painting his abdomen in his streaks of white. Not five seconds later, Chris groans loudly, his hips snapping up a few more times before he stills; his dick buried inside Sebastian to the hilt, filling him up with his release, just like he promised.

As if their strings have been cut, both men’s bodies go lax, melting bonelessly onto the mattress as they struggle catch their breaths.

While Seb is still trembling through the aftershocks, Chris runs his hands slowly, gently over Sebastian’s torso to help him come back to himself, and as soon as his breathing allows it, he starts murmuring sweet nothings into Seb’s ear, telling him how good he’s been, how much he adores him, how pretty he looked for the camera. It takes a few minutes, but gradually Sebastian starts to stir a little, so Chris urges him to lift his hips so he can gingerly slip out of him. When Sebastian makes a small sound if discomfort, Chris puts a hand on the side of Seb’s neck and turns his head enough so he can draw him into a sloppy kiss, over his shoulder.

Sebastian hums into it, turning his body just enough so he can drape himself more comfortably over Chris’s torso. Pressing kisses to the side of Sebastian’s face, his ears, his brow, Chris keeps up a steady stream of praise, his voice deep and soothing.

“I love you so much, Sebastian,” he says softly, adoringly. “You’re incredible, baby. I mean it. I can’t believe how good you are for me. Always giving me everything I want, everything I need. More, even. I can’t believe your mine, sweetheart. Love you so fucking much.”

Although Sebastian is still pretty out of it, the expression on his face is content, exhausted but happy. Safe.

“Love you,” he mumbles back, rubbing his head against Chris’s clavicle, and Chris smiles, wide and happy and so full of love it seems to pour from every atom that makes up his body.

“Can you sit up for me, Sebastian?” Chris asks gently after a little while.

Despite Sebastian’s weak protests, Chris somehow manages to lift them up, before easing Seb back down onto the mattress, carefully pulling the covers up to his shoulders so he won’t get cold. For a moment, Chris just looks down at Sebastian as he’s lying there, blissed-out and sated and tired as fuck, before he leans in and brushes a soft kiss over his lover’s cheek.

Then, he gets up off the bed, walks over to the camera, and the image goes dark.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading lovelies! Wanna come say hi on [Tumblr](https://musette22.tumblr.com/)?


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